Posted in Reposts

Meet and Greet: 8/12/17

Dream Big, Dream Often

dreambigwallpaper-pinkombre

It’s the bimonthly Meet and Greet everyone!! Strap on your party shoes and join the fun!

Ok so here are the rules:

  1. Leave a link to your page or post in the comments of this post.
  2. Reblog this post. It helps you, it helps me, it helps everyone!
  3. Edit your reblog post and add tags.
  4. Feel free to leave your link multiple times! It is okay to update your link for more exposure every day if you want. It is up to you!

  5. Share this post on social media. Many of my non-blogger friends love that I put the Meet n Greet on Facebook and Twitter because they find new blogs to follow.

See ya on Monday!!

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Posted in poetry

I Don’t Blame You

I don’t blame you for being tired.

You’ll never admit it but i can tell.

It drips from your words like an ominous drizzle.

It leaks from your eyes like the tears I’m not supposed to know about.

 

My brand of crazy burns the throat and coerces the tears.

It has claimed victims most determined.

It makes lightweights of champions

And it cripples with brutal callousness.

 

I don’t blame you for stepping back

When you were lacerated by my shrapnel.

I couldn’t bear to see the pain

That my monstrous volatility did cause you.

 

I don’t blame you for turning away.

For life has thrown you enough curve-balls,

And your feet singe from the fires you had to walk through,

And your heart too has ached on lonesome nights.

 

So I won’t blame you for leaving me.

You deserve to feel the healing breeze,

The perfect respite, the sudden ease,

That comes when you walk away from my toxic storm.

Posted in poetry

Say You’ll Remember Me 

Thoughts of you bleed free

On solemn nights like these.

Memories of who I used to be

Before you left me begging on my knees.

 

One minute we were flames

Dancing together, burning passion.

Suddenly everything changed, you were playing games.

Our love turned to fiction.

 

I try to think of my mistake.

Tear the earth in two there is no answer.

I try in vain to numb the ache.

Freefalling endlessly without an anchor.

 

I looked over my shoulder as I walked away

Hoping that you’d look back as well.

All you left me was dismay

As you left without farewell.

Posted in poetry

Solitary Confinement

This is no place for the souls of men

But linger still do many.

They choose the charcoal oblivion.

Pariahs coming together yet still alone.

 

For here exists only the self, self upon self

Among the steady chime of silence.

A soft hum but also a deafening roar

Mellifluous, everlasting companion to one, to all.

 

Dwelling ground for the broken and the hopeless

Dissuaded by the world’s nefarious nature.

They weep with tears they do not have

For a world that is no longer theirs.

Posted in Inside My Head

Breaking Down and Rising up

So I know that I’ve been gone for the longest time. Heck, my last post was all the way back in January! That’s like 6 months without a single post. This does bother me immensely but there is reason hidden behind my silence. I’ve had an immensely tough year and usually, I use writing as a catharsis to help me move on from things but this time I just couldn’t. Every time I picked up a pen or opened a document I felt the voices in my head like a screaming, bitter orchestra. Every time I tried to write they chided me and told me it was all stupid and horrible. It was a crisis of faith in myself and my abilities and going to university and getting to interact with people of such incredible talent drove me further away from writing.

I experienced a lot of trauma over the year as well, some of which i didn’t dare even tell my closest of friends about. Everything I went through took a real toll on me and I reached my breaking point at the start of the summer. Because of these two things, I thought it would be better to try to focus on myself first and try to work my way back to a relatively healthy state. I’m glad to say that I finally broke free of my writer’s curse and am starting to write again. In fact, I have some new stuff coming up very soon and am going to be trying to work on a posting schedule to keep things more regular.

However, I’m still far from being in that healthy state that I have been trying to reach and somewhere in the middle of the summer, my situation deteriorated a little more after making some progress. But hopefully I’ll make it through ok and I’ve just gotta keep trying. All I know is that writing is so very important to me and I’ve always received encouragement for it so I’m going to fight hard to keep my spark alive. And finally, for those who still follow me and read my work, thanks for being so very patient with me.

:’)

-A

Posted in poetry

The One That Got Away

I watch you walk away from me

Without the slightest hesitation.

Oh love, won’t you stay for me?

Don’t leave me in starvation.

 

I did all I could do,

Put my heart on my sleeve.

All the hell I went through

Just to watch you leave.

 

For your affection is all I dared to ask.

You told me you weren’t capable

Of fulfilling this arduous task.

For your guarded heart it just wasn’t possible.

 

So I had no choice but to let you go.

I smiled and waved goodbye.

I could never let you know

how much for you at nights I’d cry.

 

The thought still strikes me every day.

You were the one that got away.

Posted in post

Update: Writer’s crisis

So after a lot of trying, I finally managed to write a poem. I know that it isn’t even close to perfect and really doesn’t compare to most of my previous work but I believe that in order to get over my little crisis I need to find my way back to how I used to be in regards to my writing. To this end, I would like to ask you guys to lend me some of your inspiration. Is there a particular method you use while writing? Is there a way you generate ideas? Do you have any ideas you would be willing to share with me? If you’d like to share please do. The comments section is waiting! 🙂

-A

Posted in poetry

Heart’s enemy

You may never know the words I have to say to you

I’ll let them die as thoughts

But I still can’t look away from you

Slow torture for my heart

 

I’ll let you fall into the arms of another

And say not a word in protest

Take a pillow to my feelings and smother

Try to push it all away

 

I’ll put my heart on the guillotine

My heart lets tearful rivers flow

I am my own enemy

Believing I’m meant to be alone

 

I retreat into my deluded fantasies

And try to find happiness in what-ifs and foggy dreams

 

Posted in Inside My Head

An Earnest Apology

Alright so excuse how the writing in this post is because im going to be rambling a little and i wont be doing much editing so it will just be a flow of thoughts. I’ve hit a bit of a roadblock in my pursuits as a writer and it has really taken a toll on me. I feel incapable of writing and it pains me so much because every day i just want to write and i feel the urge inside me desperately crying to be freed from the cage it is in. Every time i try to push through and write something i find myself deleting the few words i write before i can even think of whether there is something good amongst the rubbish heap.

For such a long time I have been able to come up with anything and that is why the blog has been dormant. So i’d like to apologize to my followers and people who actually keep up with the blog for not delivering anything for so long. I know that in order for a blog to work out consistency  is key and i  am severely lacking in that department. I can only hope that i somehow overcome my current struggle and rekindle the connection i had with writing not just for others but for myself too.

Hope everyone is having a great start to 2017.

-A

Posted in poetry

Moody Love

Fickle as a flower

I love you, I love you not.

Changing by the hour,

My feelings are victims of over thought.

 

One day I was under your spell,

Your image on my mind.

It happened so quick I couldn’t tell.

Love’s light made me blind.

 

Another day I couldn’t care less.

You blend in among the crowd.

I see no reason to obsess

And I show it clear and loud.

 

Love is moody, it wants its way.

It changes my mind everyday.

I feel a pang as you pass and then I shrug.

Sweep my feelings under the rug.

 

Control is lost.

I hold myself back.

So I pay the cost,

My love story goes off track.