I’ve decided that it would be an interesting idea to write my thoughts on some of my work in a series of posts called “Note on”. The first poem i will be commenting on is “Terrorist”. I found it to be the perfect time to publish this on my blog given the recent attacks on Paris, Beirut and Kenya. The world is full of cruel people. Cruelty has no religion. The people in today’s world that claim to be killing other in the name of Islam such as the abomination that is ISIS are by no means representative of the average Muslim. If anything, these are the extremists that the average Muslim fear. The extremists that tarnish the reputation of Muslims worldwide. We fear these extremists just as much as any American or European. Sadly, most of the world does not see our fear and instead of seeing us as being as much victims as they are, they point their unforgiving fingers in our face and tell us to disappear.
I have faced Islamophobia first hand in many situations in my life. At my international school, a place where they claim to preach tolerance, i was constantly picked on and labelled a terrorist. The irony of it all was that i was a very timid boy, didn’t say much and most certainly never got violent with everyone. Yet they saw what they saw on the TV screens and they painted my portrait with that same bloody red. More recently, i’ve experienced bullying for my religion on the internet. ive met vicious, anonymous bullies who berated me for being Muslim.
So i used all of this sentiment and employed it fully in creating the poem “Terrorist”. I hope to see the Islamophobia end in the near future but more importantly i hope to see the terror people inflict on each other, on a large scale such as bombings or on a smaller scale such as profiling and bullying cease to exist.
It was 11:15 PM on the dot.
I waited at our special spot.
The chilly December wind blew through my hair.
Alone I stood. The park was bare.
Hoping, waiting for you to come,
My heart was beating like a drum.
It was the time assigned on every night
When we would meet secretly under the lamp light.
But tonight was special. From tonight you would only be mine.
You promised me you would leave that other wretched boy behind.
11:45 now you’re getting late.
I wonder why you are missing our date.
1 AM, with tears in my eyes,
It becomes clear, I realize
That you’ve made your choice on with who you want to be.
And it pains me to know, it isn’t me.
Its one of life’s cruel jokes when you really want something and life just waves it in front of your face. Its so close you can feel it brush against you but its just out of reach. You look on in hope that somethings going to change, waiting, patiently, for your chance to take a grab for the thing that eludes you. You see your chance and you pounce only to land face-first on the floor, scraping your knees and bruising yourself in the process.
You look up in the hope that life will take pity on your sorry state and hand you the object of your desire. But Life enjoys this game of cat and mouse too much. It ignores your pleas and keeps the game going in. All it gives you is a window seat: one from which you can watch over the thing you want the most. After all this time, you’re fated to be on the outside looking in.
You told me you were broken and couldn’t be fixed
I should have held you close my body to yours affixed.
I told you I liked you and wanted you to be mine.
But I didn’t tell you of the love with which I did pine.
You were a fantasy, a dream come true.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when my path crossed with you.
I started to believe in love again,
Without a care for what happened back then.
Slowly but surely I uncovered your mystery.
Even though at times, I was confused by your history.
Some things I found ended up hurting me.
But I kept coming back with all of my empathy.
So when the time came when you told me no
I had no idea from here where to go.
I spent all my love on you and now I’m distraught,
Knowing I love you but can have you not.
Whenever my heart looks for something,
It comes knocking at your door.
But the door never opens.
And my heart is left wanting more.
Walking the icy cold path of love,
My heart slipped and fell hard.
It was deceived by your outer beauty,
Your wicked ways left it charred.
You were my first mistake.
Pulled me closer like a magnet.
Without any warning,
Stole my heart like a bandit.
I’m shouting at mirrors.
When I should be shouting at you.
You couldn’t care less,
About whether I make it through.
My battered heart can’t take no more.
But it’s stuck beating, beating on your door.
Six feet tall stands a chain-link fence
Brings borders to your freedom
Put your fingers through the holes
Yet the other side is still out of reach
Fields of beauty lie still, undisturbed
Tantalizing, just out of reach
Look through the holes
And wonder what its like on the other side
With steely stubbornness
It stands and keeps it in
Or keeps you out
Simple yet powerful
Day and night you dream
It creeps in like a little mouse
And grows into an angry lion
Deprived and hungry
*Clank* you rattle and roar
But it still stands and separates
You from the sight you adore