Posted in Inside My Head

Breaking Down and Rising up

So I know that I’ve been gone for the longest time. Heck, my last post was all the way back in January! That’s like 6 months without a single post. This does bother me immensely but there is reason hidden behind my silence. I’ve had an immensely tough year and usually, I use writing as a catharsis to help me move on from things but this time I just couldn’t. Every time I picked up a pen or opened a document I felt the voices in my head like a screaming, bitter orchestra. Every time I tried to write they chided me and told me it was all stupid and horrible. It was a crisis of faith in myself and my abilities and going to university and getting to interact with people of such incredible talent drove me further away from writing.

I experienced a lot of trauma over the year as well, some of which i didn’t dare even tell my closest of friends about. Everything I went through took a real toll on me and I reached my breaking point at the start of the summer. Because of these two things, I thought it would be better to try to focus on myself first and try to work my way back to a relatively healthy state. I’m glad to say that I finally broke free of my writer’s curse and am starting to write again. In fact, I have some new stuff coming up very soon and am going to be trying to work on a posting schedule to keep things more regular.

However, I’m still far from being in that healthy state that I have been trying to reach and somewhere in the middle of the summer, my situation deteriorated a little more after making some progress. But hopefully I’ll make it through ok and I’ve just gotta keep trying. All I know is that writing is so very important to me and I’ve always received encouragement for it so I’m going to fight hard to keep my spark alive. And finally, for those who still follow me and read my work, thanks for being so very patient with me.