Posted in poetry

Trilogy of Tears

Part 1: The Tears

 

Right now I’m in a state of mind

That I never want to be

God if you’re up there listening

Have mercy on this planet and me

 

Tragedy strikes when you least expect

Bursts through the ground, destroying the blooming flower

When life nearly slips through your hands

You start to realize your lack of power

 

Twenty-two angels gone too soon

Five-hundred angels with battle scars to keep

And then there’s me, one broken heart

Who has been robbed of her sleep

 

Everywhere I go

There’s reminders to be found

Of the hatred and intolerance

That burned hope to the ground

 

I try my best to cover up

To be strong for those who need me

But even when i try to rise above

The despair just doesn’t leave me

 

So I turn the faucet all the way

Internalize the pain of my fallen angels

And cry puddles throughout the day

Away from prying eyes to see

 

Part 2: The Cave

 

It was a desperate time

I had to disappear

Stow away in a cave i built

Holding those i love near

 

The everlasting feeling of desolation

Had a grip on me so strong

That i had to go into isolation

To learn to live with this wrong

 

Wrestling with the darkness

And the sound of the aftermath

How could one be so heartless?

To spare no innocents from their attack

 

Through all the darkness shined a single light

Urging me to not give up this fight

The love and affection of those who adored me

Nourishing, gentle, sweet

 

The sound of music slowly began to return

And I rose like a phoenix from the ashes of my heart

Changed but yet the same

It was time for a brand new start

 

I’ve got to wrestle with this mentality

The time is now, to break free

 

Part 3: No Tears Left to Cry

 

Right now, I’m in a state of mind

I wanna be in like all the time

Ain’t got no tears left to cry

So I’m pickin’ it up, pickin’ it up

I’m lovin’, I’m livin’, I’m pickin’ it up…

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Posted in poetry

For a While

I can hear the dynamite string sizzle

I can hear the bridge start to crack

I can hear the bell toll

But my ears don’t process them when I’m with you

 

The wind whispers to walk away

But in my heart I want to stay

Just to spend another day

With you leading me astray

 

The storm clouds drift ominously

But the sunlight is so nice right now

The thunder rumbles angrily to heed its warning

But I’m not ready for the final bow

 

Your twinkling eyes, your Cheshire-Cat smile

Make me want to just forget for a while

Posted in poetry

Museum of Broken Dreams

The mobile clinks and groans above the crib

Piercing through the silent air

It reeks of promise unfulfilled

In between its joyful melody

 

Teddy bears line the shelves

Dust bunnies on their noses

Their shadows cast darkly

Upon the walls with decaying roses

 

No eyes can see through the window

Stained in neglect

The curtains fall gracelessly to the floor

Where they are laid to rest

 

A rocking horse sits ready

In a corner so alone

Waiting for the rider

That never made it home

 

Strained ears can tell those sounds so muffled

Through the thin hollow walls

Dripping with longing and misfortune

A misfortuned woman bawls

Posted in poetry

Every Rose Has its Thorns

Some moments are made of eternities

They impart a sensation like nails on a chalkboard

Your existence is bombarded like an emotional tactical strike

And only then do you know what it is to live

 

The thud of the rose was no less than a grenade

As it hit the concrete bathed in hope-drenched sunlight

The wind wailed desolately in my ears

The frame was perfect, the picture distorted

 

There stood my love giving love to another

Planting sweet kisses onto lips that weren’t mine

Staring longingly into eyes that weren’t mine

Soft whispers of ‘I love you’ into ears that weren’t mine

 

I surrendered to my tears as they burned my cheeks

Rooted in the ground by my paralyzed feet

Sickly fascinated at my ruination

My tired eyes couldn’t seem to look away

 

Desperation crashed down on me like a waterfall

My soul could take no more

Stupidity soon followed

How could I allow myself to dream

 

Secretly i craved this form of torture

It became my favorite form of self-harm

Every sense of mine sought out their love

To burn into my memory with a cattle-prod

 

With every crumpled rose i grew desolate

With every lost love i killed hope

Maybe this was destiny

Maybe there is no other half of this heart of mine

Posted in poetry

Lost and Found

Closed off, couldn’t handle the pain

I slammed my doors and locked them

too

So the darkness wouldn’t drive me insane

Love was lost not to be found

 

I would peer through the keyhole

Shy away from the piercing light

Put thread and needle to my soul

To try and save the embers of my heart

 

Through twist of fate so benign

Our paths did somehow intertwine

Planting dreams of you being mine

Ever hopeful, ever frightening

 

Butterflies in my stomach, pure elation

When you dart so swiftly across my mind

In our moments of subtle flirtation

How simply you make me feel alive

 

Could it be that what was lost is forgotten

For something new to be found?

 

Posted in poetry

Hiss Hiss

God how I love draining your venom from my neck

I get high off the feeling of being upset

Hypnotize me, then you bite me – repeat

But honey you ain’t seen the real me yet

 

I can see the scales under your trench

The way your eyes morph into slits

You’re stuck dancing with the snake charmer

It’s too late now to call it quits

 

No more will I be ingrained

By a friendly face so much like a stranger

Breaking free now, so long have i strained

To be rid of your danger

 

Hiss to your hearts discontent

Your crashing symphonies fade to static

I’m ready to be free now

So it’s time to face my magic

Posted in poetry

I Don’t Blame You

I don’t blame you for being tired.

You’ll never admit it but i can tell.

It drips from your words like an ominous drizzle.

It leaks from your eyes like the tears I’m not supposed to know about.

 

My brand of crazy burns the throat and coerces the tears.

It has claimed victims most determined.

It makes lightweights of champions

And it cripples with brutal callousness.

 

I don’t blame you for stepping back

When you were lacerated by my shrapnel.

I couldn’t bear to see the pain

That my monstrous volatility did cause you.

 

I don’t blame you for turning away.

For life has thrown you enough curve-balls,

And your feet singe from the fires you had to walk through,

And your heart too has ached on lonesome nights.

 

So I won’t blame you for leaving me.

You deserve to feel the healing breeze,

The perfect respite, the sudden ease,

That comes when you walk away from my toxic storm.

Posted in poetry

Say You’ll Remember Me 

Thoughts of you bleed free

On solemn nights like these.

Memories of who I used to be

Before you left me begging on my knees.

 

One minute we were flames

Dancing together, burning passion.

Suddenly everything changed, you were playing games.

Our love turned to fiction.

 

I try to think of my mistake.

Tear the earth in two there is no answer.

I try in vain to numb the ache.

Freefalling endlessly without an anchor.

 

I looked over my shoulder as I walked away

Hoping that you’d look back as well.

All you left me was dismay

As you left without farewell.

Posted in poetry

Solitary Confinement

This is no place for the souls of men

But linger still do many.

They choose the charcoal oblivion.

Pariahs coming together yet still alone.

 

For here exists only the self, self upon self

Among the steady chime of silence.

A soft hum but also a deafening roar

Mellifluous, everlasting companion to one, to all.

 

Dwelling ground for the broken and the hopeless

Dissuaded by the world’s nefarious nature.

They weep with tears they do not have

For a world that is no longer theirs.

Posted in poetry

The One That Got Away

I watch you walk away from me

Without the slightest hesitation.

Oh love, won’t you stay for me?

Don’t leave me in starvation.

 

I did all I could do,

Put my heart on my sleeve.

All the hell I went through

Just to watch you leave.

 

For your affection is all I dared to ask.

You told me you weren’t capable

Of fulfilling this arduous task.

For your guarded heart it just wasn’t possible.

 

So I had no choice but to let you go.

I smiled and waved goodbye.

I could never let you know

how much for you at nights I’d cry.

 

The thought still strikes me every day.

You were the one that got away.